a victoria's secret xmas

over the summer, i ordered a bathing suit from victoriassecret.com. little did i know that this would automatically sign me up to receive the victoria's secret catalogue! my special christmas edition arrived today, so i was looking through it, like the perverted old man that i am. what did i find, but the perfect gift that people can buy for me! here, i'll try to put in a link:

http://www2.victoriassecret.com/fantasy1021/fantasy_bra/

i understand that some people might not really feel comfortable purchasing lingerie, so i'll just take the cash. thanks.

boredom and halloween

a typical day has been somewhat like this:
wake up
go to class
do reading
make dinner
rehearsal
practice
homework
3 hours of TV

by this time, it is usually 9 or 10 at night. so i watch some more TV, because what else could i possibly be doing? what the hell!? for the first time ever in college, i have literally nothing to do. i called my mom and told her i was bored. "um, mel? what about your upcoming LSATs and law school apps?" "OOPS! i totally forgot!!!"

yesterday james and i got pumpkins! it was fun! he took lots of cute pictures of me! the one picture i "took" of him disappeared! oops again! !!!!

this reminds me that it is almost halloween. let me tell you about my last two halloweens. two years ago, i was dating gabe. we were getting ready to catch the bus to fell's point, the fun-filled place of drunken orgies and general debauchery. so. we went to his room to grab our coats, and what did we find there, but a random kid passed out in gabe's bathroom in a pile of his own vomit! apparently, the kid, let's call him "nick", lived in the same room one floor above gabe, but was too drunk to notice where he was. first, we got to clean up all the puke! and then! we got to dial numbers on nick's cell phone, trying to find someone who could retrieve him. by the time we finished with this halloween treat, all the buses to fell's point had left.

last year, of course, i was dating james. we spent a lot of time thinking up ideas and making/buying costumes (oj and nicole). now, my james isn't usually a big party-goer, so i was thrilled when he agreed to go to whatever party it was. i paid my $5 to get in, i paid james's $5 for him, we walked in the door, and james said, "i'm going to leave now." and then he left. best $5 i ever spent. after a few minutes, i decided to leave - the nicole costume was really not quite the same without oj. i walked back to my apartment by myself with my blond wig and inflated bosom to find james sans costume before i could even take a picture. we spent the rest of the night dressing him back up so i could have a fond memory of the occasion.

boy, i hope this year can live up to the precedent.

iiiiiisyblndvt

unscramble that!

today i went to oktoberfest. it was as much fun as a person could have when they have just stopped drinking from the night before, they wake up, and start drinking again. also, it was freezing cold.

sara just asked if she could look at a cover letter i sent out last year. oh man, i forgot how horrible it is. i'll paraphrase for you:

MY ADDRESS

THEIR ADDRESS
(most of the paper)

Dear Whoever:

HI!!!! I'm Mel!!! I randomly found a link to your webpage, and I decided to apply for a job! I'm CUTE and also FUNNY! You should also hire me because of these unique qualifications:
- I take a lot of classes
- Last semester, I took 11 classes

Thank you SOOO MUCH!
(if you hire me, i'll sleep with you).

love,
MEL

popularity

as of now, i've had about 900 visitors to my blog. assuming that 500 of those were me, 300 were my mom, 50 al, and 25 james, i've had about 25 unique hits!
i keep thinking that one day, maybe i'll be popular. my time will come, right? i mean, in high school, i only wasn't popular because i walked around all day with tissues stuck up my nose, and i published an article in the warrior implying that block scheduling made girls pregnant. in college, i'm too busy for friends. who needs 'em? but soon, perhaps i'll be the hot law student, like in a john grisham novel or something. and i'll be picked up by an agency to star in law and order as a side job while i run a real firm.

moving on. today in music history, i could not stop laughing. i'm not sure that i can properly describe the situation. we're in the middle of singing a medieval chant, and susan weiss stops the class, hums what seems to be an irish jig, and instructs us to sing that instead. the only person who responds in any fashion is james. the next thing out of dr. weiss's mouth is, "great! now let's look at the clausula!" WTF IS GOING ON??! omg, please, someone tell me. at this point, i'm convinced she speaks some kind of english-vulcan hybrid. in my attempt to disguise my laughing as coughing, and my tears as allergies, i blow my nose all over my shirt. as i'm leaving the class, weiss turns to me and asks, "no one's lost, right? we all understand what's going on?" sure, no problem.

i hate seasons (also, life)

i recently realized that i don't like fall (impending sense of winter), winter (death itself), spring (too close to winter), or summer when it's too hot. i don't like school when i have too many classes, because it's stressful and there's not any time for fun. i don't like school when i don't have enough class, because i have too much time to procrastinate. i don't like classes where there's too much work, and i don't like classes where there's no work because what's the point? and i certainly don't like having a real job of any sort. i feel bad when i don't practice saxophone enough, and when i do practice, i'm still stuck being second alto, so lowly that even ben schneider can't ask me to play in his retarded recital. YOU SUCK ANYWAY!! i feel guilty for going out and doing anything when i have homework, but if i don't go out, i'm so lonely/bored/angry that i can't get any work done. i don't like to play games when i always win (nothing), or i always lose (everything). i like tv that's not boring but has no violence or blood whatsoever. i love video games, but not when they're too easy (that's stupid) or too hard (too stressful, and i certainly don't need that). when i have too much homework, i sit around paralyzed because i don't know where to start. when i hardly have any, i'll end up not doing it at all. i hate people who make me feel stupid, or people who are too dumb for me to talk to. i hate boys because no boys will bother to be friends with me when i have a boyfriend, and i hate girls because they're mean and all they like to do is talk about shopping and makeup. i can't do anything, and there's so much i have to do. would life be nice if everyone were like me, or would i be sad that i had competition?

parade of homosexuals

i think this is what is going outside my window right now. i cannot think of another explanation for the seemingly endless stream of marching bands. look, i love you guys, okay, but SHUT UP!! I'M TRYING TO DO MY HOMEWORK!

xuqa

was anyone else tricked into signing up for this website? " it's more fun than facebook! everyone's doing it!" i got some shit email saying that like, 89 of my friends wanted me to join. why is it then, that there are only two people who have friended me?
whatever. instead of studying the 10ish pages of vomit which is music history i, i was playing around on xuqa. finally, i see the picture of someone i know! it's camie pulley, the gigantic, gross bassoon player (sorry if you read this, camie). no, i'm not sorry. camie should be sorry. because one of the features of xuqa is that you can upload more than one picture of yourself. me, innocently, "oh, what's that picture, camie?" click! oh look! it's a picture of camie pulley's VAGINA!! WTF!!!!! GET RID OF THAT SHIT!! I STILL FEEL SICK!! JESUS CHRIST!! really, why? why, camie? that's great, and all, that you're like, really comfortable with your massive body. but PLEASE!! if you feel the need to take pictures of your genitalia, and post them online, please please please post them somewhere where i won't accidentally look at them. THANKS!!!

on another note, i used to get really excited, because right after i update, i always get a whole bunch of hits to my site from exotic places like germany. now, i realize that these are just advertising companies trying to be mean. so, if you're flicking through the blogs, trying to pick your next victim, and you come across princessmelda.com, you better stay for at least 30 seconds and read my latest post. BITCHES!! I'LL KNOW IF YOU DO!

oh. and now i'm really mad at bush. maybe we could have been friends, you know? but harriet miers over me? come on. we have about the same amount of judicial experience, and i'm cuter.