i hate seasons (also, life)

i recently realized that i don't like fall (impending sense of winter), winter (death itself), spring (too close to winter), or summer when it's too hot. i don't like school when i have too many classes, because it's stressful and there's not any time for fun. i don't like school when i don't have enough class, because i have too much time to procrastinate. i don't like classes where there's too much work, and i don't like classes where there's no work because what's the point? and i certainly don't like having a real job of any sort. i feel bad when i don't practice saxophone enough, and when i do practice, i'm still stuck being second alto, so lowly that even ben schneider can't ask me to play in his retarded recital. YOU SUCK ANYWAY!! i feel guilty for going out and doing anything when i have homework, but if i don't go out, i'm so lonely/bored/angry that i can't get any work done. i don't like to play games when i always win (nothing), or i always lose (everything). i like tv that's not boring but has no violence or blood whatsoever. i love video games, but not when they're too easy (that's stupid) or too hard (too stressful, and i certainly don't need that). when i have too much homework, i sit around paralyzed because i don't know where to start. when i hardly have any, i'll end up not doing it at all. i hate people who make me feel stupid, or people who are too dumb for me to talk to. i hate boys because no boys will bother to be friends with me when i have a boyfriend, and i hate girls because they're mean and all they like to do is talk about shopping and makeup. i can't do anything, and there's so much i have to do. would life be nice if everyone were like me, or would i be sad that i had competition?