death, urine and a punch in the face

1) death

last week, i was walking back to the office from chipotle. the pesky walk sign in front of my building was quickly counting down to zero, so i decided to run across the street. BOOM! just as the light turned green, i fell on my ass in the middle of the road in front of about 100 people in their cars, outside of the building, and on the street. there was a collective gasp as all these people turned and pointed. fortunately, the kind police woman was able to blow her whistle very loudly, instructing the cars to please not run me over. all attention is good attention, right?

2) urine

yesterday on my way to work, i stepped on a tile outside the metro. the tile flipped over, and splashed me with some kind of wet substance. but what was that smell? oh yes. apparently i had overturned the neighborhood urinal. try explaining that one to the boss. i went home and changed.

3) technically, this one was two punches in the face

last night, at around 3, and then again at 4 in the morning, james punched me in the face. i bet he doesn't remember.
j: *PUNCH!*
m: OW! JAMES!
j: mumble mumble don't play on the c string play on the a string mumble mumble
m: james, are you talking to me?
j: what? no, no....mumble

an hour later:
j: *PUNCH!*
m: JAMES! nevermind. that's fine.
j: mumble

apparently james was having a cute dream about student teaching. now tell me how you really feel, james.